


You'll Be In My Heart

by Lloyd1000



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Eventual Happy Ending, Fatal accident, Love, M/M, Romance, Tragic Romance, hit and run
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-19
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-07 22:51:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10371558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lloyd1000/pseuds/Lloyd1000
Summary: When Kaidan got hit by a truck and died from his injuries, John must find the man or men responsible even if that meant going against all his morals and codes.Using all his training as a police officer, John and his team uncover a pharmaceutical drug called Sovereign, which is a neurological enhancement drug, that just might be the sole reason behind Kaidan's death.





	1. Gone

**Author's Note:**

> AU where John and Kaidan live in our world. They are police detectives in the major crime city of Chicago.
> 
> A.N.- I just want to say thank you to annaraven's story Under Investigation and annaraven for giving me this idea.

"Oh come on, John! Not everyone revolves around you! What about me and Lydia?!" Kaidan screamed at John as he was walking toward the curb. John was running after him out the house yelling, 

"Kaidan please, listen to me! You mean more to me than the case! You mean-" but Kaidan interrupted him,

"No I don't, John! This case and all of the other cases you ever had, meant more to you than me."

Kaidan held his daughter's hand as he didn't so much as glance for traffic as he made his way across the street. He continued,

"You even told me that when you married me! I can't do this anymore!" 

"Kaidan! Stop!" John screamed worriedly as he saw it coming before Kaidan had. 

"You don't love me! You never di-!" Kaidan yelled on as he ignored John frantic pleas but never finished. He heard a loud rumbling sound coming from his right. Kaidan glanced then to his right and saw a truck barreling down toward them. In a split second decision, Kaidan grabbed and threw his daughter back toward John in an effort to save her. Kaidan heard his name called one last time before blackness. 

* * *

 

John could only watch as the truck slammed into Kaidan. Everything seemed to slow down. Nothing seemed real. The sound Kaidan made as flesh hit metal. John will never forget that horrible sound. It was like he was living in a dream world instead of real life. 

"Kaidan!! Lydia!!"

'Whose voice was that?' John thought, 'Couldn't be mine, right?'

His body was moving like it had a mind of its own. It moved toward his frantically crying little girl. 

'That could've been Kaidan right? It can't be him.... It can't be....' He denied himself but he still made his way over to their daughter.

The neighbors came running out of their homes when they heard the thud and obvious screeching of tires. One neighbor in particular, ran over toward John as he held his crying little girl. She arrived just as she heard John say,

"Daddy's here...I got you." She touched John's shoulder as she took in the little girls cuts and bruises all across her little arms, legs and her face. She also noticed that John was itching to quickly get over toward Kaidan. She told him,

"Go! I'll watch her." John turned toward the woman. She was short and had bright blue eyes and dark blonde hair. 

"Thank you, Liara." John whispered as he handed Lydia over to her before running to Kaidan. 

"Kaidan! Baby?! Kaidan, baby please wake up!" John told Kaidan as he gently picked up his head and set him on his lap. John took in how Kaidan's body looked. He saw blood practically everywhere on and around his body. He also noticed and felt more than a few bones broken. Tears were streaming down his face, when John heard Kaidan take a shallow breath.

Kaidan's dark brown eyes opened then, and John's breath hitched in his chest at the relief that Kaidan was at least alive. He told him,

"It's going to be ok, baby. I'm here. I lo-"

Before John could finish what he was saying, the ambulance arrived and took Kaidan away. The same ambulance took off just as fast. Not even waiting for John to get on. In which he didn't, leaving John in shock from the ordeal of Kaidan getting hit by a truck and at how fast the paramedics took him.

* * *

 

A few minutes later, officers from his precinct, the 106th approached John and began to question him and all of his neighbors who may have seen the vehicle that hit Officer Kaidan just minutes before. One of the officers; he was a little older than the others, walked up to John. John thought he heard him say his name was Steve or something like that but he wasn't listening.

"John, did you get a good look at the driver or the vehicle?" John didn't answer but Liara, who happened to be near John with a sniffling little girl answered for him,

"All we all saw was a navy blue maybe black SUV speeding away with a license plate starting with 7MB. I couldn't get the rest because the guy and it was a guy sped away. I'm not sure what John might have seen but that was what the whole neighborhood saw."  The man now named Steve wrote down the partial plate, the make and color of the vehicle and the witness statements before he headed off toward his partners.

Liara placed a hand on John's shoulder causing him to jump at the sudden contact before turning toward her. Her eyes flashed in hurt and worry at the sudden reaction and John felt even worse. He told her sadly,

"Sorry Liara." then he walked away. Liara followed minutes later and told John to head to the hospital to check on Kaidan and make sure he was alright. John had nodded and left seconds later.   

* * *

 

When John finally arrived at the hospital, he was shocked to find that his police chief, David Anderson was there.

"Why are you here, chief?" John asked tearfully and when Anderson turned around, John knew something was wrong. He just _knew_ it.

"John... please here me out..." but John upon hearing the way Anderson spoke; the way how it sounded sad made he immediately demand,

"What happened? Is Kaidan ok?" His voice quivering between sadness and anger. 

"John, I'm sorry. I don't know how to tell you this..." but John already knew. He had felt it in his heart. Kaidan was gone. His beloved husband was gone.

"No..... no.... no!" John shook his head fiercely as he cried out of grief. His whole world came crashing down on top of him. He dropped to his knees as the first sob wracked throughout his body. Anderson didn't say anything more but instead he placed a comforting hand on John's shoulder as he cried. 

One thought was going through John's mind,

'How am I going to tell our daughter?' As tears, one after the other fell to the ground. Then another thought hit him hard, 

'I'm so sorry, my love... I was a fool.' before he asked Anderson,

"Ca- (clears throat) Can I see him? Can I see his body?" Anderson shook his head and told, 

"His body was severely damaged and broken. I don't want you to remember him that way. Remember the way he was before." John slowly nodded before another sob wracked through his body. 

* * *

 

A week later, a funeral was held to honor Kaidan. They had a closed casket so that others wouldn't see the damage done to his body and John had agreed even though he himself hadn't seen the body. John and his friends and many family members walked into a church that Kaidan had gone to a few times in the past.

Kaidan and John knew the priest because he had baptized their daughter when she was only a month old. Her biological father had named them that day as her Godparents should anything happen to him. About a month after her baptism, Lydia's biological father was shot and killed by an unknown assailant. No other leads were found and his body was never recovered.

John held his three-year-old daughter, Lydia as the proceedings went on. She being so little didn't and couldn't have understood what was going on and John thanked God for her being so young. When the proceedings were finished, John and Lydia entered their car which Liara decided to drive because he couldn't. They drove behind the funeral car all the way to the cemetery. The sky gave Kaidan it's own way of honoring him. It rained.

Many police cuisers were leading the funeral with their sirens going and flashing their lights. A small band of bagpipes played Amazing Grace behind the cars as they slowly made their way to the cemetery. People showed up on the sides of the road to pay homage to Kaidan and his family. Fire houses rose their ladders with the American flag at half staff while their lights and sirens were going.

The fleet of cars and people finally arrived at the cemetery. John, Lydia and their friends gathered around the hole in the ground as more proceedings went on.

After a few minutes of the priest speaking, people began to place roses on top of the closed casket as it began to slowly be lowered into the ground. Officers from both the 106th and 110th were wrapping the American Flag into a triangle to give to the family members of Officer Kaidan Alenko-Shepard.

John was the last person to place his rose on Kaidan's casket. He decided that Lydia would place his rose and lifted her into the air so that she could place it. Then the 106th officers walked up to John, gave him his flag and saluted him. John saluted back weakly while the 110th gave their flag to Kaidan's mother doing the same. The 106th and 110th then gave Kaidan the 21 gun salute as their own way of honoring him. 

After Lydia placed the flower, the 21 salute and the flags were given, people begun to file out of the cemetery one by one but John and his friends stayed behind. 

"I'm so sorry for your loss, John." Garrus told him as he placed his hand on John's shoulder. Garrus took his wife Tali by the hand as she squeezed John's arm telling him,

"It will get better in time." and walked away. All his other friends told him just about the same. That they were all sorry for his loss and that it would get better. However, John didn't believe it ever would.

Every one of his friends but Liara left. She held Lydia's small hand as John kneeled in front of Kaidan's grave, sobbing in the rain. 

John took one last glance at the grave which said,

_'Kaidan Alenko-Shepard, loving and caring husband, friend and father, Exemplary officer of the 110th, Killed by a hit and run, born December 24, 1983, died April 19, 2015. May he rest in peace with God in heaven.'_

Before he turned around and took his daughter's other hand; walking away. 


	2. Lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John deals with Kaidan's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to the guests who kudos my story!

John arrived home around nine that night after the funeral. Liara had taken him to get something to eat and drink; seeing as he had just lost his husband. 

"Thank you Liara for helping me with.... everything."

She smiled sadly and placed a small hand on his arm. 

"Your welcome. It's the best I could do for you both." She was about to walk out the door when a tired small voice asked,

"Is Daddy coming home?" John's heart just about stopped and Liara froze. John looked at the little figure in his arms in much sadness as he tried to think of an explanation. Fortunately, Liara had beat him to it.

"Lydia, sweetheart. Your Daddy...." tears began to form in her eyes as she lied to the poor girl, "Your Daddy is coming home. He will be back in a couple of days." Then she smiled and took her from John's arms as she noticed his tears.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed, Lydia." Liara held the little girl and placed a hand on John's arm before walking away. John's breath hitched in pain as he slowly made his way over to the couch before he collapsed onto it. He silently cried. 

* * *

 

John woke to the sound of his alarm blaring near his face. He looked about the room and realized he was in their room. His and Kaidan's. 

'How...? The last thing I remember was that I was crying on the couch.' John thought before a voice sounded from their bathroom. 

"Babe, get up or you're going to be late for work." Tears began to form in John's eyes as Kaidan walked out of the bathroom. 

"Baby, what's wrong?" John stared before telling him,

"It's nothing Kaidan. I'm fine." Then smiled before getting up and pulling Kaidan into a kiss. 

Then suddenly, John was outside. Standing on the porch watching Kaidan walking down toward the curb.

'Wha-? What is going on?!' He thought before running after him down the lawn. Seconds later before John could say anything both Kaidan and their daughter was struck by a speeding truck. He screamed,

"No!"

* * *

 

"No!" John screamed as he thrashed and struggled against whoever was trying to hold him down. 

"John it's ok! It's me, Liara!" John opened his eyes and immediately grabbed her into a strong hug. He was shaking. John never had such a horrible dream before. 

"Shh.... it's ok now. I'm here." Liara whispered as she gently wiped away his stray tears. Once Liara was sure John had calmed down, she asked him what happened.

"I believe I had a nightmare. I basically watched K-Kaidan and Lydia die before my eyes..." Liara sighed sadly before she pulled John upstairs to his daughter's room. 

When John saw Lydia asleep, safe and sound, he relaxed immediately. John glanced at Liara and motioned for her to follow. She did and they walked back downstairs and into the kitchen. Liara sat down at the kitchen table while John leaned against the counter. For awhile neither of them moved or spoke until John couldn't take the silence anymore.

"I'm sorry. You shouldn't have seen that." He noticed the clock on the stove read 2:45 before he continued turning to look out the window, "I'm sorry you had to stay here. I'm sorry I woke you up at 3 in the morning. You didn't have to stay." Liara shook her head as she told him,

"John, don't worry about it. I want to help you in anyway that I can. If that means waking up at 3 in the morning then so be it. I don't regret coming here. You need me now more than ever. I'm your friend, and that's what we do." John looked at her through the windows reflection and sighed but nodded. He then turned back to her before taking a seat next to her. Liara asked,

"This isn't about me not really. This is about Kaidan isn't it?" John nodded as he spoke,

"I wish I could've done something more. I wish I was the one who got hit not him. He deserved more time. Not me. Not someone who is living on borrowed time as it is." Liara gasped when John had finished but not in shock; in anger. 

"You think you are on borrowed time?!" John nodded before she gave him a piece of her mind,

"John, you are not on borrowed time. You have the right to live just as much as Kaidan did. What happened to your twin sister and your parents was an accident. It wasn't your fault. How could it be?! You were asleep when they showed up." John looked at her in sadness and hurt before he told her,

"But it is my fault! If I had been awake my family would still be alive!" Apparently they were a little too loud because after John spoke a small very tired voice and little pitter patter of feet sounded throughout the kitchen,

"Daddy...? Why you yelling?" John looked over Liara to see Lydia standing the doorway to the kitchen. John stood up and went to her; picking her up.

"Sorry baby girl. We didn't mean to wake you." Then kissed her forehead before nodding to Liara. She understood that it was time to get some sleep and John carried his little girl back upstairs but instead took her to his room. He wanted to lay with her. Liara watched the small family go upstairs in sadness before walking to her guest room and fell asleep.

When John walked into his room, his breath hitched at Kaidan's things. He gazed silently at everything before he felt a small hand on his face. Lydia had touched his face to wipe away his tears that had fallen. 

"Why you crying Daddy?" John smiled at her and told her,

"Nothing sweetheart. I'm fine. Come on let's get to bed." Before he took her to bed. Once she was situated in bed, John crawled in next to her and was about to turn out the light when Lydia spoke up. 

"Daddy, could you sing You Be In Heart?" John looked down at her little girl and noticed she had tears of her own in her eyes. His heart broke a little watching her tears fall silently down her sweet little face. He nodded,

"Yeah baby girl. I will though Daddy doesn't remember all the words but I'll try." and began to sing though it was a little rough.

'Come stop your crying  
It will be alright  
Just take my hand  
And hold it tight

I don't remember what was meant to go here but I'll keep singing anyway,' Usually Kaidan and John sing this to her because John always forgets the words but this time John has to sing this to her by himself.

  
'For one so small,  
You seem so strong  
My arms will hold you,  
Keep you safe and warm  
This bond between us  
Can't be broken  
I will be here  
Don't you cry

  
'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Yes, you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more  
You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart  
Always

  
Why can't they understand the way we feel  
They just don't trust what they can't explain  
I know we're different, but deep inside us  
We're not that different at all

  
And you'll be in my heart  
Yes you'll be in my heart  
From this day on  
Now and forever more

  
Don't listen to them  
I forgot the words don't worry I'll remember them soon they'll see in time, I know.

  
When destiny calls you, you must be strong  
I may not be with you  
But you got to hold on  
They'll see in time, I know  
We'll show them together

  
'Cause you'll be in my heart  
Believe me you'll be in my heart  
I'll be there from this day on  
Now and forever more

  
You'll be in my heart  
No matter what they say  
You'll be here in my heart  
Always

  
Always I'll be with you  
I'll be there for you always  
Always and always

  
Just look over your shoulder  
Just look over your shoulder  
Just look over your shoulder  
I'll be there' then John whispered the last word of the song because Lydia had fallen asleep,

'Always' John laid there for a few minutes before he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. 

* * *

 

John woke to the sound of silence and the smell of coffee. He glanced down and to his right and noticed Lydia wasn't next to him anymore. He started to hyperventilate in worry because he already lost Kaidan; he knew he wouldn't be able to lose Lydia too. 

John stood up and immediately went to search the house for his daughter. He walked out of his room and down the stairs and was about to look about the house when small laughter could be heard from the kitchen. When John entered the kitchen, he was greeted by a very familiar sight. 

Someone leaning up against the counter and his daughter in her seat eating her favorite breakfast. That someone who was leaning against the counter in John's eyes was his dead husband Kaidan. John watched as Kaidan walked up to their daughter and kissed her forehead before walking up to him.

"Here babe. Your coffee." Then he kissed him on the lips as he left. Disappearing into thin air. Seconds later, Liara was in front of him holding a cup of hot coffee. Tears formed in his eyes when he realized it was only his imagination. Liara immediately set the coffee down and questioned,

"John? What's wrong?" When he didn't answer, she asked again,

"John?" Instead of answering her, John grabbed her arms tightly and had a crazed look in his eyes. 

"Why do you haunt me so? Why Kaidan? Why? Do you like messing with me even when I'm wake?" He questioned sadly before his eyes widened in horror.

"Liara....! I'm....I'm..." but turned on his heels and walked away. Liara watched him go in worry. She thought as she watched his retreating back,

'He is so lost without you, Kaidan. He needs you.'

* * *

 

John was in his room for half of the day. A little after breakfast, Lydia walked up the stairs and entered her father's bedroom; finding him sitting on the bed holding a picture. She walked up to him and placed her small hand on his arm causing him to look at her.

"Daddy? Are you ok?" John smiled sadly and nodded but didn't answer her verbally. Lydia went silent for a minute before she told him,

"It was my fault. I told Li about breafas. I'm sorrwey." John shook his head immediately and pulled her onto his lap.

"You are not at fault. You didn't nothing wrong, baby girl. It wasn't Liara's either. It was mine. All mine. I'm the one who should say sorry not you." Then rested his head on her tiny shoulder. They stayed like that for a while before Lydia left to go play. 

It was around noon that John decided to get out of the house. He snuck out of the house while Lydia and Liara were playing in the living room. He took his car and left. 

Liara heard the front door open and shut before she heard the rumble of John's car start. She ran out after him seconds later only to miss him by a few seconds. John was gone but Liara wasn't too worried. For the rest of the day, John was gone and Liara was starting to worry.

Liara started calling all of John friends and coworkers when he still had yet to return. She was talking to John's boss Chief David Anderson at about ten at night,

"Chief, tell me you've seen John." David Anderson on the other end of the call answered her,

_"No I haven't. I'm sorry Liara. Are you sure he isn't with you?"_

"I'm positive. He left around this afternoon and I haven't seen him since. I'm worried Cheif. He just lost Kaidan. I'm afraid he'll do something."

 _"Calm down. Worrying over the situation won't do you or Lydia any good. Now where would he go? There's got to be some place he would go."_ Just as Liara was about to answer, headlights of a car pulled into the driveway.

"Someone just pulled into the driveway. It's John. Thank God. He's safe. Goodbye Cheif and I'm sorry for waking you. Have a good night." Anderson told her not to worry and they hung up. A car door slammed, followed by the opening and closing of the front door. Liara ran to the front door and grabbed him into a hug. John hugged her back before moving past her and up to his room. 

Liara followed after him and entered his room. She found him on the bed and she moved beside him.

"John? Where did you go? Lydia and I were very worried." John didn't answer; he just sat on his bed in silence. Finally, after a few minutes had gone by, he told her.

"I just wanted to be alone. I still do." Liara sighed in understanding before she stood up and left him alone with his thoughts. Liara glanced at him at the doorway before going through it and closing it. She walked back to her and after a few minutes of worrying; finally went to sleep. 

* * *

 

John remained awake for a couple of hours thinking about Kaidan, the case and their life before it changed forever. He never would've thought about losing his best friend and lover so early. He thought they would have grown old and died that way. 

'If only I hadn't been so wrapped up with that damn case and just paid more attention than he would still be alive. If only I remembered our anniversary. If only....' John blamed himself and cried himself to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you all think!


	3. Back To Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes back to work for the first time since Kaidan's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Nykyriana and all the guests who left kudos on my story!

For the rest of the week, and the week after that, John would go out and not come back until late at night. He would not be out too late so that he would miss saying 'goodnight' to his daughter.

Every night he would do that, Liara would worry. She'd worry that John was going to do something horrible like commit suicide or that she'd learn he was killed in a car accident or that he was never coming back. Leaving her to take care of Lydia. 

One night, John came home later than he done before. It was near midnight and Liara had to put Lydia to sleep on her own and that wasn't easy. Lydia kept yelling and crying for her daddy to come home. Eventually, she just cried herself to sleep and damn near broke Liara's heart. So when John walked in through the door, Liara turned on the living room light and demanded, 

"Where have you been?! Your daughter waited most of the night for you come home! You are all that little girl has left. Where were you?" John just stared at her in shame as she went on, "Don't want to tell me, fine. But know this your daughter had to cry herself to sleep because you weren't around to sing her favorite song to her!" John visibly flinched when he heard that Lydia had cried herself to sleep. She was just about to start again when John stopped her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered before he dropped to his knees and silently cried. Liara couldn't take much more either, with all the stress from Kaidan's death and the worry; she dropped beside him and held him as she also cried. After a few minutes, John stood up and walked into the kitchen. He went to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of beer and handed one to Liara, who had followed. 

Liara sat down at the table, took a drink then asked John again,

"John where did you go?" John took a drink from his beer before taking a seat next to her. 

"I don't know.... Everywhere I guess." She reached across the table and gripped his hand as he went on voice breaking with thick emotion,

"I just miss him... you know? He was my rock. My whole life.... an- and what makes me feel worse.... is... is the fact we faught moments before he got hit. I never got the chance to tell him that I love him and that I'm sorry." Liara gripped John's hand hard before she told him,

"He knew that, John. He knew. He knew you loved him and that you didn't mean it." John shook his head in defiance before he told her,

"I don't think so. I mean, he was so angry with me. I just can't believe he knew. I can't..." Liara sighed heavily as she finished her beer before getting up and leaving. As she was leaving, she stopped at the doorway.

"Whatever you may believe now, know this at least. I know he loved you. I know he knew you didn't mean anything. He forgave you, John. Goodnight John. Do me a favor get some sleep. After all you do have work in the morning." John near choked on his beer and stared after her retreating back. 'Work huh.' John thought sadly before finishing up his beer and heading off to bed.

* * *

 

John woke up to his alarm blaring right near his face at five in the morning. He groaned as he tapped the off button before getting up and walking to the bathroom. He did his morning routine, got dressed then walked downstairs. He made his morning coffee and his breakfast before sitting down at the table to eat. As he was eating a headache, for some reason, started acting up and John barely gets them. Liara woke up next and poured her cup of coffee before she sat down at the table. She looked up at John and asked,

"How are you doing? Ready for work?" he shrugged instead of answered as he finished his coffee and breakfast. John stood up and placed his dirty dishes into the dishwater and walked back to the bathroom but not before asking Liara,

"Will you get Lydia up? I'm going to take her to work with me." Liara at first nodded before she understood what John had asked. She went after John as he walked down the hall to the downstairs bathroom.

"Wait. You are going to take Lydia? I can watch her. You don't need to take her with you." John finished brushing his teeth and wiped his hands on a towel before he turned toward Liara.

"I know that but I want you to take the week off. I'll take her to my work and have my follow officers watch her. You rest today." then walked past her and went upstairs. Liara followed after him and was about to question him again when she realized he had entered Lydia's room. She watched him head to her bed and heard him say,

"Hey, baby girl. Oh, that's it. Come on, let's go to my work." then he lifted her up into his arms. Liara smiled at the two as John grabbed everything Lydia would need for the day. A change of clothes, toys, and her favorite games. As John walked passed Liara, he handed her everything he had picked up and went back downstairs carrying a still half asleep Lydia. Liara followed once again down the stairs and went outside to drop off everything she had in her arms into John's car before walking back inside.

While Liara was outside, John walked back into the bathroom and set Lydia on the counter. He went into the medicine cabinet and grabbed the ibuprofen and dumped two tablets onto his hand. As he placed the white and blue bottle back on the shelf, he bumped an orange bottle and it fell but not before he snatched it with his other hand. John happened to glance at a name on the bottle. Kaidan's headache pills and John felt the sting of tears in his eyes as he remembered one moment. 

* * *

 

_John had just returned from work to find the house completely silent. Usually, the house would have laughter or music or the TV going on. But on this particular day, it was absolutely quiet. He shut his car door and the garage door before walking inside his home. As he walked through the front door, he noticed all the lights were off. He called out his love,_

_"Kaidan? Babe, why are all the lights off?" However, John got no answer from Kaidan._

_"Kaidan?" He called again as he made his way through the house. He opened his daughter's door, seeing as it was the only room with a light on, to find Lydia on the floor playing with her dolls. John smiled, moved over to her then kneeled by her._

_"Hey baby girl. Where's Daddy?" Lydia glanced up at her father and told him,_

_"Daddy in your room. He told me to play here." John nodded before he kissed the top of her head then walked to his room. As soon as he opened the door, John noticed a figure on the bed. He walked further into the room and sat down on the bed._

_"Babe?" He whispered gently, "You ok?" And Kaidan stirred, moving the pillow off his face and looked up at John._

_"Headache." Was all he groaned out and John immediately pulled him into a tight embrace._

_"Shh... Rest. Did you take your pill?" Kaidan groaned out a 'no' and John went to the medicine cabinet in their bathroom  and grabbed one pill from Kaidan's orange pill bottle. He grabbed a cup and filled it with water before returning to Kaidan._

_"Here your pill and some water." Kaidan took both then handed the empty cup back. John placed the cup on the bedside table before he pulled Kaidan against him._

_"Sleep baby, I'll wake you when it's time to eat." Then pulled a blanket over Kaidan's shoulders. John kissed his lips then his forehead before backing out of their room. John called the 110th and told them that Kaidan wouldn't be in today for as a headache had flared up. That and it was a bad one._

* * *

 

John shook himself out of the memory and wiped away some stray tears that had betrayed him. He swallowed the two pills, drank some water to wash them down then grabbed Lydia before walking back into the kitchen. Liara walked into the kitchen to see John grabbing some more coffee and something for Lydia to eat later. Then he half smiled at Liara before walking out the door and heading to work.

John arrived at work minutes later. He parked his car and grabbed a now sleeping Lydia from the backseat before walking in through the front door. When John entered the office, many officers glanced up from their work places to see who had just walked in and they were in slight shock. Shock from the fact that John was at work only two weeks after his husbands death but they didn't want to say anything. John walked into the break room and placed his little girl onto the couch then laid a blanket on her. He kissed her forehead then walked back out and went to his place. Garrus, his friend and partner nodded at John when he sat down.

"Hey, John. Glad you are back." Garrus told him when he got situated. John half smiled at his friend and went straight to work. About an hour into writing some reports, his chief called him into his office and his little girl woke up. John went and grabbed his daughter before going to his boss's office.

"John. Come in. Shut the door and sit down." John nodded and shut the door before he took a seat with Lydia on his lap. She was still tired and leaned heavily against John. He questioned,

"You wanted to see me, Chief Anderson?" His chief nodded then began to talk,

"First of all, how are you doing?" John answered as best he could,

"I'm alright. It's hard without him but I can handle it." Chief Anderson nodded then noticed Lydia. He smiled down at her and spoke to her,

"Hey, Lydia. Are you here with your daddy?" She nodded shyly and didn't say anything. John answered for her,

"Yeah, she's here with me, today." then asked, "It's ok, right chief? It's ok if I bring her here for the rest of the week as well? I want Liara to rest since she had to watch her for all the time I had off." Anderson nodded and John sighed relieved before he stated to his boss,

"Now, I know this isn't really about how I am doing is it." Anderson sighed and nodded before searching through his desk and pulled out a file then handed it to John. John took the file with one hand, balancing Lydia with the other and opened it. In the file, it had pictures of five dead victims of all ages, ethnicity and backgrounds and a little bag of some drug that had yet to be identified. John read some of the reports in the file before closing it and handing it back to Anderson.       

"So nobody knows where this drug is coming from? Or who is making it? Or why?" Anderson shook his head as he explained to John,

"No. Narcotics have no clue and since we have jurisdiction over murder cases, they gave it to us." 

"Are we sure it's murder? And not let's say accidental overdoses?" Anderson sighed as he went on explaining,

"That's the thing. The coroner can't even tell if it was an accident or intentional overdose or otherwise. Not yet anyway." John wiped his hand across his face in slight shock and frustration. Then bowed his head as Anderson continued,

"The 110th is looking into this as well. But I want you and Garrus out on the street today. Find out anything on this drug. Whether it be the name of the drug or the one who's making it. I don't care. Just give us something to work on. Got it?" John nodded and was about to get up and leave when as an after thought Anderson stopped John and continued, "They also sent this over." John glanced at Anderson over the desk as he handed him a box and a file. John's breath hitched at Kaidan's things and the file with Kaidan's notes for this case and personal pictures as well. For the longest time, he couldn't move. Seeing Kaidan's things was very hard. John then shook himself out of whatever trance he was in for a minute before glancing at his boss. John stood then and thanked Anderson while repositioning Lydia and the box before leaving the office.

As John was leaving the office, James Vega happened to be walking by and stopped to help him. James took the box from him and the file while John had Lydia. They walked over to John's desk and set all down.

"Thanks Vega." The man in question clasped his hand on John's shoulder as he told him, 

"No problem, hombre. Just wanted to help." Then James noticed Lydia staring at him intently and waved at her. Lydia half smiled and hid her face in her daddy's shoulder. James continued, "Cute kid." John glanced down at Lydia and smiled lovingly before he asked,

"Would it be too much trouble if you watch for a few hours? Garrus and I have to go patrol the neighborhoods for this drug that's been harming people. Chiefs orders." James looked at the little girl and caught her staring again before answering her fathers request.

"No not all. I'll watch your niñita for you. Lydia, you and me are going to have so much divertido." Then took Lydia from her father. James then told them,

"Good luck, Loco." John nodded before kissing his little on the head then grabbed his things and left with Garrus. 

"You're sure you're ready for this?" Garrus asked John after a few minutes since leaving the station. John stared out the window a while before he considered answering the question. He turned toward his partner as he asked again,

"You're sure about being back at work? I mean if I lost Tali... I know I wouldn't be back at work. I'd be drowning my sorrows in any and every alcoholic beverage I could find." John sighed and told him,

"I know but I need to be at work. It helps keep my mind off of.... off of.... him. Besides Liara can't always help me. She needs times to herself." Garrus nodded in understanding as John continued,

"Another reason I'm working is because I'm afraid I'll do something stupid." That stopped Garrus cold. He glanced to his right at John and saw he was staring straight ahead before Garrus turned back to his driving. 

* * *

 

A few hours into the patrol, Garrus and John got a call from dispatch, a young woman named, Edi,

"243 do you copy?" Garrus reached for the walkie and answered her,

"243, what's going on Edi?" there was some noises in the background as she tried to answer Garrus when a man's voice spoke,

"There's been a 911 call at the club downtown. The Omega." then Edi came back on slightly angry,

"Thank you Joker. Go back to your area!" They heard more quiet bickering before Joker's voice   

"You love me baby. Ow watch my arm. I'm going!" Both Garrus and John could almost see Edi roll her eyes at Joker but still smile at her fiancé before she came back on the radio and confirming what Joker had told them,  

"Sorry about that Garrus but what he said was true. That 911 call was from the club downtown, The Omega. The caller sounded a little concerned. The caller didn't say anything else. You need to get there fast. Be careful, both of you."

"Ten-four" Garrus answered then turned on the lights and the siren and spend downtown. Garrus maneuvered around corners until he stopped the squad car and John and him got out and went inside. Once inside the club, The Omega, John and Garrus was met by the bouncer/bodyguard. 

"You must be Grunt. The bodyguard for Mr. Urdnot." John stated as he and Garrus walked up to a big tall, muscular man with crop short; almost military short brown hair. The man in question didn't even move an inch and Garrus wondered if he had heard John. 

"Ahh, don't mind him. He barely says anything. Though I wasn't expecting you to be here, John." A deep voice to both John and Garrus's right spoke. John turned toward the voice and was greeted by a familiar sight. 

"Wrex." John walked up to another man just as tall as the bodyguard but not as muscular and hugged him. Garrus was a little shocked at the sight and was about to ask when John beat him to the punch.

"Wrex is an old friend of mine and Kaidan's from our college days." Garrus nodded in understanding because he had gone to different college than John. 

"Now what's this about an 911 call?" John asked getting back to business and Wrex showed them the way. 

"A young man brought in a new and weird drug in the club last night. You know me, John. This club is only meant to be for gambling and sex not drugs or alcohol. Somehow this young man managed not only to get passed my guard but also bring in drugs. My guard tried to stop him but he disappeared or so we thought." John and Garrus nodded; taking notes as they walked. Wrex continued,

"It wasn't until a young woman, one of my dancers goes by the name of Jack, ran up to the bar and grabbed the phone.  She was the one who called 911. The man is in here." Then lead them into a long hallway that lead to the dancers dressing room. When the three of them opened the door, John and Garrus was greeted by a male body on the floor.

John walked in first, pulling out a glove and checked the man for a pulse. When he found none; John then checked for an ID. He found the ID in the man's pocket. 

"The victims name is..... Jacob Taylor, 26. Better call it in." Garrus nodded grimly and stepped away. Wrex stood by the door and shook his head. John sighed and moved away from the body. Wrex commented,

"That's awfully young. To go like that. Damn..." John nodded before Wrex spoke up again,

"I'm so sorry about Kaidan. He will be terribly missed. You are always welcome here." John smiled sadly as Wrex placed a hand on his shoulder then walked away. 

Garrus walked up next to John's a few minutes later and looked down at the victim. He stated to John,

"The CSI's are on their way. Along with Chief Anderson. They will be here in a few minutes." John nodded before he carefully went back toward the body. John reached around to one of the victim's hands and pulled out a bag with some crushed powder inside. He showed Garrus the bag and Garrus told him,

"We better get that to the lab for testing. It might be that new drug that killed five other people." John nodded and stood up with the bag in tow before both Garrus and himself walked away from the scene. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you thought!
> 
> Translations  
> niñita - little girl  
> divertido - fun

**Author's Note:**

> Please tell me what you all think! Onto the next chapter!


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